these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
