Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
