tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
