doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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