I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
