real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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