Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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