my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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