i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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