do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Vodka?
Forever.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
