Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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