Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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