Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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