i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
