Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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