Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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