Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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