so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
