Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
