No stitches, just platelets and will power
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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