If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
