so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
