Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize