Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i wish my penis had a tongue
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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