even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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