I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I am naked and annoyed.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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