I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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