Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
