My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
that's an acceptable place to lick
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
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