I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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