It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
