no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
