That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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