I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
