thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Non-Jews are for practice
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
