so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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