If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
