Got a toothbrush?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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