Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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