How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
