so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
