Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
