She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
