I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
