Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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