hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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