SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
