What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
True college students do jello shots in the library
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
