problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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