Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
