I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
