I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
