woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
