Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Come share oat with me in your robe
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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