Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
