I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
