Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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