I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
