I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
