We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
