I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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