Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
