By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
