I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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